Are We Preparing Our Children for the Real World?
I am increasingly concerned that we are creating an educational environment that bears little resemblance to the world our children will eventually enter.
Consider the growing movement among universities to eliminate traditional grades during a student's first semester. Students still complete assignments and receive feedback, but their grades may not count toward their GPA. The reasoning is that students need time to adjust, explore academic interests, and experience less pressure.
I understand the motivation. I just fundamentally disagree with the approach. Where in the real world does this happen?
When someone begins a new job, does the employer announce that performance during the first six months doesn't count? When a nurse begins working in a hospital, are mistakes overlooked because the individual is still adjusting? When a young professional misses deadlines, does the organization simply erase those failures from the record?
And what about in adult relationships? In a marriage/significant pairing, is there a 9-month “get out of jail card” before things get really serious? With friendships, are you allowed to be a jerk and stab someone in the back without consequence at the beginning of the relationship, but that is “OK?”
Of course not.
Yes, responsible employers provide training, guidance, mentoring, and opportunities to improve. They recognize that new employees will make mistakes. But expectations remain, and performance has consequences. And relationships start from the moment we are introduced, where trust also begins.
Why would we want our universities, who have many young people on their own for the first time, to operate differently?
I have children. Like most parents, I want them to succeed. I want them to enjoy school, establish meaningful relationships, and develop the confidence necessary to pursue whatever careers and lives they choose. But I believe my children, and everyone else's children, should have two fundamental expectations of their educational institutions.
First, they should expect to be safe. Physically safe. Emotionally safe. They deserve an environment free from harassment, intimidation, and abuse. They should be treated with respect and dignity.
Second, they should expect the opportunity to grow. Intellectually, emotionally, socially, and personally.
And growth requires challenges.
My children should not expect an environment without difficulty. They should not expect success 100 percent of the time. They should not expect failure to be removed from their experiences. They should not expect me, Dad, to be someone who will fix all of the problems.
In fact, removing failure may deprive them of some of their most valuable lessons.
Think about the experiences that have shaped your life.
Was it the promotion you received or the one you didn't? The business decision that worked perfectly or the one that forced you to reconsider your assumptions? The easy assignment or the difficult project that pushed you beyond what you thought you could accomplish? The loss of a relationship because of something you did not want to admit, but know that you did?
We develop resilience by confronting disappointment. We develop accountability by accepting consequences. We develop confidence by discovering that failure is something we can overcome.
None of those lessons requires eliminating standards.
There is a significant difference between helping someone succeed and protecting someone from the possibility of failure. We should provide additional tutoring, stronger mentoring, better academic counseling, and greater support for students struggling with the transition to college.
But we should also expect them to perform to the best of their abilities….not the same, but to maximize based upon their own skills, worth ethic, and gifts.
In my work with nonprofit organizations and leaders, I regularly see the importance of accountability, judgment, persistence, and adaptability. Those qualities are developed through experience, including uncomfortable experiences. Our educational institutions have a responsibility to prepare students for that reality. And parents have the same responsibility.
I don't want my children protected from every difficult assignment, disappointing grade, or unsuccessful effort. I want them equipped to respond constructively when those things happen. Because eventually, they will encounter employers, colleagues, customers, patients, and communities that depend on their performance. The world will not always adjust its expectations to accommodate their discomfort.
Our children should expect safety. They should expect support. They should expect opportunities to grow. And they should expect to encounter failure, recover, learn, and become better.
That is the kind of education we should expect for every child.
