Episode 3: Gratitude and Thanksgiving

Episode 3 - Gratitude and Thanksgiving

Welcome to another edition of “Around with Randall,” your weekly ten- to1 12 minute podcast about making your nonprofit more effective for your community. And here's your host, the CEO and Founder of Hallett Philanthropy, Randall Hallett. 

I appreciate your time in joining me again this week. I want to tell you a little bit of a story from about five or six days ago.

My seven year old son came to my wife and I, his mother, and said we have not put up the Thanksgiving tree. Now I need to explain that many years ago, my wife wanting to find a bridge between Thanksgiving and Christmas created this idea of putting up a tree, a felt cut-out pasted on the wall tree, where we would cut out every night, a copy of our hands on a piece of construction paper, and in doing so we would then write on it after cutting it out - because it looks like a Turkey  -  and then put it on the Christmas tree. We would write what we were thankful for. We would do it every night for seven or eight nights with Thanksgiving being the last night.

And this would be the transition between Thanksgiving and Christmas. My wife's a genius and this year with COVID and a new company, and just the chaos of the world, my wife and I had totally forgotten. There've been too many other things clouding our minds and the seven-year-old was the one who remembered.

And so every night from that day, up til now, and through Thanksgiving, after dinner, we cut out our hands and we write on it what we're thankful for. Pretty simple. It can be anything. And now that we have the four-year-old and the seven-year-old, it's one of the best parts of the day, because what they're thankful for is sometimes funny. And sometimes  it’s the the most endearing thing you could ever imagine. 

It also caused me to think about a little bit about Robert Fulcrum as the world gets more chaotic, his book, “Everything You Need to Know You Learned in Kindergarten” is more and more true and the simplicity of life and the things that are truly important are all about the things that are probably closest to you. That sometimes you don't even pay attention to. 

And I'm thankful for my seven-year-old for having the ability to put that into context. The history of Thanksgiving is interesting. Obviously, if we go all the way back to 1623 or so, there's the first Thanksgiving, the thankfulness of harvest and the gathering of the pilgrims and the Indians.

It really became more formalized during the revolutionary war. When the continental Congress and George Washington on an annual basis created multiple days of Thanksgiving, usually around challenging times, or for appreciation for some type of victory over the British. And it wasn't until 1789 that George Washington formalized the thought of Thanksgiving for the country in the resolution.

Thanksgiving didn't become really a formalized holiday, as we think about it today,  that fourth Thursday in November until 1863, when Abraham Lincoln created a proclamation to make it the official Thanksgiving day for our country. It's interesting in very challenging times, the Mayflower and its adventure on Plymouth and Plymouth in Massachusetts. The Revolutionary War and the horrors of a civil war that the country and its people turn to this idea of gratitude and appreciation for the things that sometimes, maybe they didn't see as clearly as they should. That's because there are direct benefits from this idea of expressing gratitude and receiving it as well.

So, What are some of the benefits for giving? Thanks. And don't forget, we'll get to the tactical here in a second, but it opens up doors for relationships. It has positive health outcomes. If we think about those healthy outcomes, they're things like boosting immunity systems and healthier hearts with less inflammation, they, you handle stress better.

You get more restful sleep. You're more successful with your coworkers in the relationships you build, you have an increased sense of confidence. You're more patient you make better long-term decisions and set more meaningful goals. All those come from Fairfield health services or excuse me, Fairview health services, which is up in the Twin Cities in Minnesota.

HealthEast, and they're talking about this on their website and these, there are many, many other studies that are talking about the benefits, health benefits of expressing gratitude. Expressing gratitude also helps your psychological perspective. A great deal of amazing research from the professor at the University of California Davis, Robert Edmonds, it gives you an a sense of mental strength.

But, you know, there are interesting outcomes from receiving gratitude. It helps build better relationships, newer relationships. There was a great study done by a psychologist, Sarah Algo, who talked about this idea two ways. Social impact of gratitude. And in particular, she looked at when in a sorority, in a relationship. As a new young member would join the sorority, a senior sister would give gifts and show gratitude and bring her along. And what they found was is that relationship was much, much deeper when that occurred a month later than when it didn’t.  It's the idea of cementing current relationships again. 

Algos research looked at this idea of couples and she videotaped them when they were in conversation. And those that were very, that received gratitude that received appreciation from their partner that developed a deeper relationship and improve their relationship over the next six months. It  also fosters the opportunity to pass it forward, pass it on. So to speak this idea, the research shows that someone who receives gratitude is more likely to give gratitude to someone else.

A good friend of mine has a habit. It's one we probably could all do, but when he goes through the drive-through, he tries to pay it forward for the people behind him, meaning he pays their bill. And what happens is the stacking effect is then the next person passes it to the next person and then the next person passes it to the next person. And, is it interesting that that can continue on for quite a bit because people like to receive gratitude. I want to share it with someone else. So what does all of this mean? We got kind of a history, the simplicity that my son delivered to my wife and I, and to our family that I'm so appreciative of to these benefits that come from it.

Well, here's the tactical pieces. This is all related to this idea of what I would call stewardship. It doesn't have to be complicated. I talk with a lot of nonprofits who spend a great deal of time finding great stewardship plans.

This is really more meant for the individual, for you, the listener, a gift officer, or someone in a foundation. There are things you can do between now and maybe the end of the year that are all about gratitude and thanking people for what they do for you or for your organization. How about making thank you calls?

Just calling people and saying “thank you” for what you're doing for this organization. “I just want you to know it's making a difference. And I wanted to wish you the best of the season”, making a thank you video and iPhone, holding it up and capturing yourself saying, “I want you to know how important you are to me.” And then forwarding that through maybe a text or an email. Maybe one of the most valuable is just a simple, thank you note, that's heartfelt, that's original. That's all about your appreciation for what they do. Maybe thanking them on social media or thanking someone on social media and saying they're making a big difference.

Obviously want to make sure that you have their permission for that gift to be recognized. How about asking someone's opinion. Thank you for what you're doing. Do you think we're doing everything we should or the things we can improve upon?

And it shouldn't be just in this time of year. Can you send cards and that are birthday or anniversary or other special events? Can you make one of these things, a weekly habit, because what we know is you'll benefit? From all the things mentioned before about health and about psychological effect of feeling good about who you are and the relationships you have, they benefit because they feel really good about someone appreciating them and you develop a stronger, deeper relationship.

And they're more likely to pass that along your organization benefits because it's the right thing to do. And you represent it incredibly well. You know, I look back at that tree a couple of nights ago as I was. Filling in my, thank you, on my hand, that looks like a turkey, and then pasting it or taping it up to the tree on the wall.

My two children wrote five letter answers to why they were grateful and they just wrote daddy. That makes me unbelievably grateful. 

Let me plug a couple of things. Number one, the blogs are up on the website. That's Halletphilanthropy.com. That's always two L's and two T's H A L L E T T. philanthropy.com.

The blogs are up  - two or three. Now we're putting up two or three a week, 300 words, a minute, minute-and-a-half of reading about our profession and professional things that you can do. Podcasts dedicated directly towards the tactical and what's going on inside our industry. And in those podcasts, we're still looking for those responses.

If you are find something I've said to be a challenge, You can email reeks, R E E KS @hallettphilanthropy.com and in a couple of weeks, we will go back and look at those. And if you disagree with me or have an opinion, send it to me. reeks@hallettphilanthropy.com -  a nod to my, one of my great heroes in podcast Clark Howard. I want to make sure I give proper attribution. 

And then the other one is if you have a suggestion for a topic, podcast@hallettphilanthropy.com podcast@hallettphilanthropy.com. So check out the blogs, check out the website, send me an email to reeks. If you have a concern or disagree or to podcast@outphilanthropy.com, if you have a suggestion.

I want to thank you for joining me this week. I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving and a terrific holiday season. Don't forget. This is a tremendous profession. You are making a difference. You are part of a movement into helping your community be all that it can. And to serving those that are underserved, not heard and misrepresented, remember the old saying some people make things happen. Some people watch things happen. Then there are those who wondered what happened. You are part of the first making things happen for wondering for people wondering what happened and there's nothing more noble, nothing more rewarding. I thank you for what you do. Have a great holiday and remember make it a great day. .